Colonel Sanders went to more than 1,000 places trying to sell his chicken recipe before he found an interested buyer. The fact that we can buy Kentucky Fried Chicken today attests to his perseverance. Thomas Edison tried almost 10,000 times before he succeeded in creating the electric light. If he had given up, you would be reading this in the dark!

The original business plan for what was to become Federal Express was given a failing grade on Fred Smith¹s college exam. And, in the early days, their employees would cash their pay cheques at retail stores, rather than banks. This meant it would take longer for the money to clear, thereby giving Fed Ex more time to cover their payroll.

Sylvester Stallone had been turned down a thousand times by agents and was down to his last $600 before he found a company that would produce Rocky. The rest is history! 

To truly succeed requires a total commitment to your goal. Too many people make the mistake of quitting just short of success. Keep going no matter what. If you really believe in what you are doing, give it all you’ve got and don’t give up.

How does the dicitionary define freedom? 

“The condition of being free of restraints.” 

Free from restrictions, no limitations, the ability to do or say whatever I want, whenever I want and with whomever I want. If we did a survey in the high street of any city or town this is probably what most of the general public would answer. 

But we wouldn't tell our child that they could do what ever they wanted and go to bed whenever they feel like. This would quickly lead to anarchy and a corruption of the child's personality. 

Therefore we see that restrictions are set in place for a reason. They are not there to make your life worse. The father who teaches his son to think before speaking his mind is training his son to be a mentch and have good manners and is restricting his complete freedom out of love. 

Another example; If Mozart got up on stage and played any note that he felt like, he’d probably clear the theatre in a matter of minutes. He sticks to the notes in a scale for a reason. But hang on - isn't his freedom restricted because he can't play whatever note he likes. 

On the contrary, by restricting his freedom he produces a really beautiful piece. 

This is seen throughout the entire world. Freedom of speech can be misunderstood to mean that you can speak about whatever you want, but the sensitive person understands that sometimes it is better not to say something, if it will cause offence for example. 

For me, this answers one of the most fundamental questions. Judaism is a great religion, with a huge emphasis on family cohesion, respecting your parents and treating others as you want to be treated yourself. So what’s with all the limitations, like not doing anything on Shabbat? 

With our new definition of freedom we can begin to understand it from a more mature angle. The commandments aren’t there to make your life a boring misery. Why would an all good, all loving G-d want to do that? Rather they are guidelines to help extract the best qualities from us and switch off our phones and TV's in order to spend time with the family and re-connect to what is truly important. Shabbat gets us to focus on the spiritual and most importantly on our relationship with G-d. 

The true freedom and happiness we are all looking for can only be achieved through restrictions on our innate urge to act as we please.

What a lesson to be learnt....

Walking through Penn Station today I saw a homeless man playing music. In the busy NYC train station this is not an unusual sight and Itry to remember that behind each man begging is a sad and tragic story, and I give what I can.

I was on my way after a long day at work and I stopped to give the beggar an uneaten sandwich that I had in my purse and a couple of granola bars that I didn’t end up eating for lunch.

As I handed the man the sandwich bag and bars from my knapsack he asked me, "Ma nishma [how are you]?" and started to speak to me in Hebrew, throwing out various sophisticated phrases. I was definitely not expecting that! I sat down and started talking to this stranger and asked him how someone so seemingly distant from anything remotely Jewish knew so much Hebrew.

His response blew me away.

"I’m not Jewish but all my friends are," he said confidently. "They always stop and give me food and flash a big smile when they pass by. Over the years they've been the people that consistently come back and make sure that I'm okay. You guys are my best friends you know."

He paused and took a deep breath.

"Lately I've been reading Hebrew for Dummies at the library so that all the Jews I meet will know how much I appreciate their friendship. You folks always care. Because you're my friends. And that's what friends do."

And with that, he wished me a "Layla tov [good night]" and picked up his guitar and continued to play.

I brushed off my skirt, wished him a good night and joined the hundreds of people rushing to the train.

As I sat on the train for my final leg home, I thought about the amazing experience that I had just had. Who knew what a difference we could be making in one person’s life by giving him a bag of pretzels, a spare sandwich and a smile? This man’s connection to Jews was so deep that he went out of his way to learn our language so he could properly thank us for our friendship.

My heart fluttered with an inner pride and I felt so proud to be part of such an amazing people. I feel very fortunate to be on the list of this fellow’s "Jewish friends" that he has made over the years as a homeless man.

During the mad rush in the dark winter nights, let’s keep in mind the opportunities that we have to spread a little bit of light. I suspect we really have no idea just how bright that light really is.... Amazing.

The Marriage Broker / Getting drunk on Purim

There is a parable that explains the mitzvah (rule) of getting drunk on Purim in the following way:

A time-honored institution in many Jewish communities is the shadchan, or marriage broker. The shadchan is more than a "dating service";  he/she is a middleman who accompanies the deal from its inception all the way to its conclusion.  He/she meets with the respective families, notes their desires, demands and expectations, and presents them with a proposal.  He/she then presides over the negotiations, convincing each side to make the concessions required so that the deal can be closed. 

Then the boy meets the girl, and the shadchan’s work begins in earnest.  The boy wanted someone more beautiful, the girl wanted someone with better prospects.  The shadchan explains, cajoles, clarifies and exaggerates; he/she gives long speeches on love and what is important in life. He/she succeeds in arranging a second meeting and then a third.  More meetings follow, and the engagement is formalized.  In the critical months between the engagement and the wedding, the shadchan advises, encourages, assuages doubts and heads off crises.

Then comes the wedding.  The bride and groom stand under the canopy, and the shadchan is the proudest man/woman in attendance.  At this point, the shadchan is discreetly taken aside and told: "Thank you very much for what you did.  Without you, this union could never have been achieved. Now take your commission and get out of our lives.  We don’t want to see you ever again."

In the cosmic marriage between G-d and Israel, the intellect is the shadchan.  Without it, the relationship could not have been realized.  But there comes a point at which the shadchan ’s brokering is no longer needed, for something much deeper and truer has taken over.  At this point, the shadchan’s continued presence is undesirable, indeed intolerable.

Purim is a wedding at which the shadchan has been shown the door, a feast celebrating the quintessential bond between G-d and Israel.  There are "drunks" at this feast who have achieved a state of cognitive oblivion; but in no other way do they resemble the stereotypical drunk.

You will not see them hurling fists, insults or obscenities at each other, or slobbering over their domestic troubles. You will see outpourings of love to G-d and to man. You will see pure, unbridled joy.

You will see people who are disciplined and aware: not with a discipline imposed by the watchdog of reason, not with an awareness brokered by the mind, but with a discipline and awareness which derive from the uninhibited expression of the spark of divine truth that is the essence of the human soul.