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Updates

Kosherpages Updates

March 05 Kosherpages launches 

December 05 - KP goes national.

June 06 - KP launches business networking events

January 07 - 1st B2B tradeshow

January 08 - 1st Kosher Lifestyle Show

August 08 - Parent & child networking event at the Odeon Manchester

September 08
- Launch of new film review section

September 08 - KP announces The Fed as chosen charity for this year

November 08 - Launch of new Medical Blog By Dr. Martin Harris

March 09 - Kosher Lifestyle Show Manchester

March 09 - Launch of The Kosher Brochure

May 10 - New Owners of KosherPages

June 10 - New look KosherPages

July 10 - KosherPages expands to include Jewish communities nation wide

July 10 - Pick of the Week is introduced to KosherPages - A joke, a quote, a Dvar Torah and more

August 10 - KosherPages now has a Facebook group - come and join us!

November 10 - Your health matters is added to KosherPages

November 10 - New addition to KosherPages - Kosher Fitness column

January 11 - KosherPages introduces "Your Pix" to Pick of the Week

July 11 - Safety First section is added to KosherPages

November 11 - The KosherPages Facebook group reaches 1,000 members

November 11 - KosherPages introduces the monthly competition

March 12 - KosherPages introduces new style "Shabbos Times & More" email. Click here to subscribe.

 

 

 

Do you have a joke you would like to share on KosherPages?

If so we would love to include it, please use our contact form to send it through to us.


Wireless Technology!

Tuesday, 1st May 2018

Be careful what you wish for!

Thursday, 26th April 2018

A married couple in their early 60s are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. 

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.'

The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.' 

The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! – two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands. 

The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.' 

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.! 

So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!... 

The husband became 92 years old. 

 

The moral of this story: 

Men who are ungrateful should remember fairies are female...... 

Lottery winners

Wednesday, 18th April 2018

A Jewish couple in London won twenty-million pounds in the lottery.

They immediately set out to begin a life of luxury. They bought a magnificent mansion in Knightsbridge and surrounded themselves  with all the material wealth imaginable.
They decided to hire a butler. They found the perfect butler through an agency, very proper and very British, and brought him back to their home.
The day after his arrival, he was instructed to set up the dining table for four, as they were inviting the Cohens to lunch.

The couple then left the house to do some shopping.
When they returned, they found the table set for six.
Perplexed, they asked the butler why it was set for six when they had expressly asked him to set it for four.
The butler replied,"The Cohens telephoned and said they were bringing the Blintzes.

Dreams!

Thursday, 12th April 2018

A woman was taking an afternoon nap. When she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond necklace! What do you think it means?"

"You'll know tonight," he said. 

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his delighted wife. She opened it to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams." 

 

Your next favourite holiday destination!

Wednesday, 4th April 2018

 

Come to Oldham for your next holiday!  

Click here to watch the hilarious video!

Is that IKEA?

Thursday, 29th March 2018

A rainy night!

Wednesday, 21st March 2018

Two Irishmen Paddy and Mick are having a drink and watching the football around Mick's house.At full time Paddy gets up to go home but notices it is raining heavily outside.

"Stay the night here Paddy," says Mick."I'll go and make up a bed for you."

When Mick comes back down the stairs Paddy is drenched to the bone.

Mick says,"What happened to you?"

Paddy replies, "I went home for my pyjamas."

 

 

Pesach!

Thursday, 15th March 2018

Forgetful ...

Thursday, 8th March 2018

Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, lived in a house together.

One night the 96-year-old filled a bath. She put her foot in and paused. 
She yelled to the other sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the bath?' 

The 94-year-old yelled back, 'I don't know. I'll come up and see.' 
She started up the stairs and paused, 'Was I going up the stairs or down? 

The 92-year-old sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her 2 sisters, shook her head and said, 'I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood.' 

She then yelled, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door.'

Purim Joke!

Wednesday, 28th February 2018

It's not widely known, but ancient Persia was the origin of eastern mysticism, and it's thought that Mordechai (of the Book of Esther) was the person responsible for bringing these beliefs into the Jewish mainstream.

After Mordechai learned of the plot against King Achashverosh and fingered the would-be assassins, he became very afraid for the safety of Queen Esther so he began praying for her, fasting five days a week, going barefoot, and wearing sack-cloth. When he did eat, he only ate grains and certain vegetables.

Since Shushan was located in the foothills of the mountains, the ground was fairly rocky so Mordechai developed an impressive set of calluses on his feet.

His constant fasting soon made him quite frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

So Mordechai had become......a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

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