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Updates

Kosherpages Updates

March 05 Kosherpages launches 

December 05 - KP goes national.

June 06 - KP launches business networking events

January 07 - 1st B2B tradeshow

January 08 - 1st Kosher Lifestyle Show

August 08 - Parent & child networking event at the Odeon Manchester

September 08
- Launch of new film review section

September 08 - KP announces The Fed as chosen charity for this year

November 08 - Launch of new Medical Blog By Dr. Martin Harris

March 09 - Kosher Lifestyle Show Manchester

March 09 - Launch of The Kosher Brochure

May 10 - New Owners of KosherPages

June 10 - New look KosherPages

July 10 - KosherPages expands to include Jewish communities nation wide

July 10 - Pick of the Week is introduced to KosherPages - A joke, a quote, a Dvar Torah and more

August 10 - KosherPages now has a Facebook group - come and join us!

November 10 - Your health matters is added to KosherPages

November 10 - New addition to KosherPages - Kosher Fitness column

January 11 - KosherPages introduces "Your Pix" to Pick of the Week

July 11 - Safety First section is added to KosherPages

November 11 - The KosherPages Facebook group reaches 1,000 members

November 11 - KosherPages introduces the monthly competition

March 12 - KosherPages introduces new style "Shabbos Times & More" email. Click here to subscribe.

 

 

 

Do you have a joke you would like to share on KosherPages?

If so we would love to include it, please use our contact form to send it through to us.


Get together ...

Wednesday, 10th January 2018

A visit to the zoo!

Monday, 1st January 2018

An Israeli is on vacation and is visiting a zoo in the States when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. 

Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents. 

The Israeli runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.

Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the Israeli brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly. 

A reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter says to the Israeli:  'Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I've seen a man do in my whole life.' 

The Israeli replies, 'Why, it was nothing, really.  The lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger and acted as I felt right..' 

The reporter says, 'Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page ...  So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?' 

The Israeli replies, "I serve in the Israeli army and I vote for the Likud.' 

The journalist leaves.

The following morning the Israeli buys the paper to see news of his actions, and reads, on the front page:
RIGHT-WING ISRAELI  ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH

The last meal

Thursday, 28th December 2017

Antonio, Jacques, and Chaim are about to be executed and they are offered to choose their last meal. 
Antonio asks for a Pepperoni Pizza which he is served. Immediately following the meal he is executed. 
Jacques asks for Boeuf Bourgignon which he is served. He too is then promptly executed. 
Chaim requests a plate of strawberries. 
"Strawberries?" 
"Yes," replies Chaim, "strawberries." 
"But they are out of season." 
"Nu, so…… I'll wait . . . ."

Potato

Wednesday, 20th December 2017

Chanuka Jokes

Wednesday, 13th December 2017

 

Stan and John are walking to school one day and Stan is describing his new Playstation 2 to John. "Where did you get that?" John asked "I got it last night for Hanukkah," said Stan. "What''s Hanukkah?" John asked.

"It''s the Jewish holiday where we get presents every night for eight nights to celebrate the festival of lights."

"Wow, I wish we got that!" John exclaimed. The next day on the way to school John runs up to Stan, curious to see what he got. He sees that Stan is upset, "What''s wrong? Where''s your present from last night?" asks John.

Stan holds up a ball of crumpled wrapping paper, "It was leftovers night."

Two sweaters ...

Friday, 8th December 2017

My mother once gave me two sweaters for Hanukkah. The next time we visited, I made sure to wear one.

As we entered her home, instead of the expected smile, she said, 'Aaron, what's the matter? You didn't like the other one?'

Twitter exchange and more

Thursday, 30th November 2017

 

A Twitter exchange between an angry customer and an apologetic Domino’s Pizza:

Customer: Yoooo I ordered a Pizza and it Came with no Toppings on it or anything, It’s Just Bread

Domino’s: We’re sorry to hear about this!

Customer (minutes later): Never mind, I opened the pizza upside down

 

*************
 

Mary goes to the post office to buy 50 stamps for her Hanukkah cards. “What denomination?” asks the postal clerk.

Mary thinks a second before 
replying, “Give me six Orthodox, 
12 Conservative, and 32 Reform.”
 

*************

An ad for a hedge clipper that I had to read twice:

“A built-in safety switch prevents accidental starting, and blades will stop when you take one hand off.”

Dave Allen At Large

Thursday, 23rd November 2017

 

Dave Allen At Large

£10 Note Stuck Under Car Tyre   

Click the image below to watch the hilarious video!

 

No dog pooping!

Thursday, 16th November 2017

TRUMP AUDITIONS FOR THE LION KING

Wednesday, 8th November 2017

 

TRUMP AUDITIONS FOR THE LION KING

CLICK THE IMAGE BELOW TO WATCH THE VIDEO!

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